When answering the phone, your emotional vibe is more important than the words that you say.

The same goes for your kid. Instead of teaching him the cheesy “Johnson residence?” line, simply have him focus on keeping a positive demeanor instead. Give him general guidelines to follow, and let his personality take the reigns.

The phone rings. Charlie picks up and responds with a warm and calm tone of voice. This should be his default affect at all times.

“Hello.” or, “Hi, this is Charlie speaking.”
“Hi. Can I speak with Marcia?”
“Sure. Who am I talking to?”
“This is Tim.”

Once the child knows with whom he is speaking, teach him to change his demeanor from warm and calm to enthusiastic. He wants to make Tim feel good about calling.

“Hi Tim! I’ll get my Mom in one second. Let me put you on hold.”

Charlie showed he was glad that Tim had called.

“Hey, Tim?
“Yeah?”
“She’s busy at the moment. Tell me your last name so she can give you a call back.”

Remember, it’s better to get multiple small commitments from someone rather than one big commitment.

Another thing to point out: notice how Charlie did not mention what his mother was doing? This is for safety reasons. We never want to let strangers, or even friends, know that your child is vulnerable.

If what you’re doing will only take a minute, tell Charlie to ask if the person would like to have a chat while he’s waiting. This is good practice for Charlie, and is better than making Tim wait in silence.

“She’s busy at the moment. If you stay on the line she can get to you in a minute, would you like that?”
“Sure.”
“Great. So what’s your favorite superhero, Tim?”
“Um… haha. I like Superman.”
“I like Superman too, but my favorite is Anakin Skywalker. Hold on Tim, here’s my Mom.”
“Hey Tim!”

Charlie, as taught, is the one who leads the conversation. He’s being taught how to act like an adult, and being Mom’s secretary can act as a medium for him to train.

I recommend teaching phone etiquette around when your child begins to read and write, for maturity reasons. As a guide, get out a piece of paper, write down these steps, and keep it near the kitchen phone. Feel free to use visual aids to help out.

  1. Excited that he/she called!
  2. Use his/her name a lot!
  3. Gather information. (last name/phone number/message)
  4. If Mom or Dad is busy, ask to chat or leave a message.
  5. Don’t tell him/her what Mom or Dad is doing!