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OLDER ARTICLES

Teach Your Kid How to Write and Record Music

18
Apr
posted by Anthony               filed under Creativity



In the summer of ‘09, I was invited to a preschool to demonstrate how I teach creativity to children. My goal was to prove that children are already professional artists, it was just allowing them to confidently bring that out.

I decided that I’d let the children create and record their own song within thirty minutes. Because of the short amount of time, I kept their artistic responsibilities limited to storyline, lyrics, emotional vibe, and performance of the song, while I directed and came up with a melody for it all.

Here are the tools I used to bring this to life:

  • MacBook Pro
  • Garageband (installed in the Apple iLife bundle)
  • Computer speakers
  • Microphone (You can purchase a good USB microphone for no more than $100. Just plug and play.)
  • Ukulele (I bought mine at a music store for twenty bucks.)
  • Egg shaker
  • White poster board
  • Sharpie marker

I started by telling the children that in order to make a song, we first need a story. The story can be about anything they want. The trick to getting children to open up their mind is by asking them a series of open-ended questions. The important part is not what their answer is, but how you respond to the answer. They want to know they can feel comfortable being creative in front of you, so be accepting of any idea they throw your way.

“What should this story be about?”
“An alien!”
“Great!”

They could have shouted out anything, and I would have accepted it. I have a high tolerance for creativity, as long as it is genuine and coming from
their own mind, not somebody else’s. The only time I will reject an answer is if I find the same answer is being given too many times.

“What should the alien’s name be?”
“Mr. Alien!”

Children have a talent for going with the obvious. This, contrary to what adults may think, is better than trying to give interesting and unique answers. There is beauty in the obvious, because there lies your natural instinct to create. Trying to be interesting only makes you less interesting, because trying in itself is counterproductive in creating art. Don’t try, just do. I find kids to be great at this.

“And what happens to Mr. Alien when he wakes up in the morning?”
“He wears his pajamas!”
“What does he do in his pajamas?”
“He has a party with his friends!”
“Then what does he do?”
“He eats breakfast!”
“Then what?”
“He brushes his teeth!”

This is enough for a simple storyline. An alien wakes up and goes through his morning routine. I use the Sharpie and poster board to write everything down. But now we have to turn this story into lyrics. Once again, the kids do this for me.

“Okay, now we need to rhyme our story to make it into a song. What rhymes with pajamas?”
“Pajamarama!”
“Haha! Great. Okay, what rhymes with breakfast?”

There’s a pause in the room.

“Nextist!”

That’s enough for me. Art doesn’t always have to make sense; how do you think Picasso made it big?

“Now what can we rhyme with ‘brushing teeth’?”
“Underneath?”
“Yes! Now that we have the story about the alien, what do we call the song?”
“Alien story!”

I write that down. This is when the real fun starts. I get out my ukulele and ask the kids what the song should sound like. At first they don’t get what that means. But after I make it a little more specific, they get the idea. I ask them if it should be a happy song, or a sad song.

“Happy.”
“Should it be fast or slow?”
“Fast!”

Then I start strumming some chords and recording the rhythm ukulele track, made a vocal track for myself, then sang out the lyrics into the microphone:

“Mr. Alien wears his pajamas at The Pajamarama, then nextist he eats breakfast! Then he brushes all his teeth and he makes sure to get underneath all those teeth! Yeah, yeah! Alien party! Alien party! Alien party! Alien party!”

This is when I bring up five kids to sing the “Alien party!” chorus into the microphone, and they do it perfectly on the first take. After that, I bring up three other kids for percussion. One kid does the claps, another uses blocks to make a drum sound, and another uses the egg shaker. And it gets more interesting! I bring up another two kids for alien sound effects. I tell one boy to make laser gun sounds into the mic, while the other makes a spaceship sound. They do it perfectly.

Being creative is about having fun. If I concentrated too much on getting this song nominated for a Grammy, it would take the fun out of the process and the creativity of the kids and pizzazz of the music would suffer. I could feel the energy in the room as the kids were singing the song that they had made into the microphone. It was as if everyone in the room was part of the band, and we were at a recording session putting music together. This project goes beyond just having fun, because the fun your kids will have goes beyond just being a spectator to entertainment, but actively creating the excitement on their own.

Want to hear the song I recorded with the kids? Click this link below.

Alien Story

You don’t have to do exactly what I did in order to get creative with your kids. As long as your child is using his/her brain to make something new, that’s being creative!

What are ways you utilize your family’s creativity?
What did you think of the song? Was it total crapola? Did you love it so much?

These are things that I wonder.

How to Eliminate Toys from Your Child’s Life

2
Apr
posted by Anthony               filed under Lifestyle



Taking your place as the new head social coach of the family, it is your responsibility to make sure that everything your child is doing is focused on confident creativity, from the games they play with friends, to the bedtime stories to read at night, all while refraining from the mind-numbing forms of recreation.

When you train your kids to use creativity to have fun, you’ll save oodles of monies on toys that are trying to take the place of your children’s natural capacity to enjoy themselves. Do you think that if you never bought toys for your kids, they would have less fun? Are video games an integral part of a kid’s childhood? On the contrary, there are an infinite number of better things to do than to play with toys.  But before we go on, I want to be clear about something: All toys are NOT created equal. While the ones I’ve been talking about are meant purely for entertainment purposes, there is another breed of toy that is beneficial to your kid’s social health, and contributes to the enhancement of its creativity. These toys are made to embellish your child’s already imaginative propensity for creating, instead of being used as a replacement for it, and hindering it in the process.

Doing Instead Of Getting

Instead of concentrating on what toy to get your kid for his birthday, concentrate on what activity you think would excite him the most. Toys are a quick and dirty way to a fleeting happiness. Life is most rewarding when you are making something new by means of an activity instead of just being the spectator to one. The “toy” should be something that enables him to pursue a passion. If the activity is learning to rock climb, get him a harness with some climbing shoes. If you want him to become a songwriter, get him a guitar and two months worth of lessons. How about an actor or director? Get different costumes for him to wear along with a video camera.

Now, tell me that a DSi trumps acting lessons.

But without a goal, there is no purpose. The excitement of a new activity fizzles out from a lack of ambition to progress; there always must be something to work towards. Write down a clearly defined goal for each activity your kid partakes in. Put them up on a poster board in the common area of the house, and check them off as they are completed.

If it’s to become a musician, then he must write an entire song; words, chords, and melody. If an actor, then the goal should be to record a movie for the whole family to watch. Include a deadline for each goal to prevent laziness and procrastination. Sometimes it is better to set an incredibly short deadline than to spend too long trying to make something perfect; it keeps things moving and forces your kid to stay on his toes. The great thing about setting deadlines and goals is that your child won’t jump from hobby to hobby, sucking the life out of each activity as if it were a toy to be “played with” rather than something to breathe life into.

But be aware, the passion for mastering something lies in the process, not the completion. Treat each success as a secondary prize to the main purpose, which is enjoying the “doing” rather than “getting.”

Have you recently gotten a great toy for your kid that helps him/her pursue a passion?  Tell me below in the comments.

I have a TON of super fun activities and games you can do with your kids to help their creativity and conversation skills.  For every comment left here, I will post the activities and games in upcoming posts.  So get crackin’!

How to Get Your Kids Approaching Strangers: Part 2

2
Mar
posted by Anthony               filed under Social Dynamics



As a male teacher, I’ve experienced several times when young girls would become petrified of me as soon as we make eye contact.

This goes beyond the usual shyness; it is a primal “fear for her life” type thing.

If I get close, she’ll start crying and squeezing her mother for dear life. This is natural, especially if she’s not comfortable around men. The problem lies with how the mother deals with the situation. If the mom coddles her, she is confirming that her daughter should fear for her life and that I am dangerous.

When you protect your child, it should only be when her life is in apparent danger. Protecting your child when there is no danger present makes her fearful for her life in secure situations. Now how silly does that sound? In no way should a parent do this if she wants her daughter to become socialized and comfortable around others, especially new people.

Sometimes my superiors have told me to hide in the office during class, hoping that would fix the problem. In the short term, yes. The girl will enjoy her class without any fear of danger. But if the mother wants her daughter to overcome her fear of strangers, this is the worst possible route to take. She is putting a band-aid on a gaping wound.

First thing’s first.

If your kid easily becomes scared by certain adults who clearly pose no threat, the first thing to do is to strike up a conversation with that person while your kid is watching. This will prove to your daughter that you like and approve of that person. In no way should you pacify her by acceding to her demands; this will only tell her that her crying is acceptable, which it is not.

The next step is to make sure you and the “stranger” have escalated beyond pleasantries to a personal relationship.

Keep a distance of only 1-2 feet away from each other and lightly touch each other on the arm when conversing. This will confirm that you and the person are now friends. Tell the person not to talk, touch, or make eye contact with your daughter.

When she is ready, she will approach him on his own.

I’ve spent a lot of time finding ways for very fearful kids to open up to me. I never approach them head on, and I never make eye contact, speak, or touch these children. In fact, I am giving 100% of my attention to everyone except the kid that is scared of me. She will see that I am a value giver, someone who spreads joy freely towards others. When I give all of my love and approval to everyone in the room except her, three things happen:

1. She becomes less fearful of me because I am totally ignoring her presence.

2. She realizes that her standoffishness is what caused me to naturally stay away from her.

3. She ends up fighting for my attention.

Kids and adults are different. Whereas an adult would consider being ignored as rude, a child does not take offense to something like this, as she does not possess an ego. The most important part of all this is your energy towards her fearfulness. If you reward her unnecessary fearful energy with comfort and protection, you are telling her that it is okay to be a scaredy-cat, and to do it more often.

Parents, now it’s your turn to give the input.

Tell us ways that you deal with an overly fearful son or daughter.  Tell us what has worked and what hasn’t.  What is your take on this post?  Do you think it will work, or do you think your kid will be too scared to even notice what’s going on?

Let us know in the comments!

How to Make Your Child a Loving Leader

21
Feb
posted by Anthony               filed under Conversation



President’s Day always gives me a weird feeling.


What other time of the year do I feel a sense of patriotism, yet the need to buy everything at Macy’s that I can get my hands on?  I was power walking down the halls of my county mall when a Russian woman came up to me trying to sell one of those heated bead bags that I put on my neck.  I remember her strong accent and assertive tone that could cut through the toughest of mall walkers.  She was good too, charming the heck out of me, laughing at my jokes and touching my shoulder, for a second I was convinced she actually wanted to be my friend.  But there was one thing that made me feel uncomfortable about the entire situation:

I knew she wanted my money.

Beneath the cheerful exterior, I could feel her snake side digging her teeth into my soul.  I was feeling tricked, used, like how a car salesman would treat me.  I started thinking about the reasons why a person will randomly approach another person, and in the end, it’s usually just to take something from him.  Validation, status, emotional security, and money are the big ones.  Realize how rare it is for a person to approach someone with the main reason of enjoying himself with that person, not to take anything but the satisfaction of making someone smile, or raising that person’s self esteem.  What kind of person is that? Shakespeare would call it a “facilitator of mirth”, some call it an altruistic individual, and some call it being selfless.  I just call it being a caring person.

I get a different vibe I get when talking to this type of person, like there’s no ulterior motive.  I feel like he’s interested in what I have to say, even if I feel like I’m being a bore.  He encourages me to open myself up, be more charismatic in my words, and let my true personality glow.  I feel at ease being myself around him, as if nothing I could say will be judged.  To put it plainly, I feel truly appreciated.

But telling your kid to, “Care for people,” can sound boring, especially to a rambunctious five-year-old.  Instead, tell him that he is an explorer, and inside each and every person he meets, there is something special hiding inside.  It isn’t easy to find, in fact it may be difficult, but the payoff is magical.  Maybe he can learn something new from someone, or be entertained by another.  There may be an exciting story inside Jaime, and a lesson from John on a new secret language.  He can relate to Mary about loving Elmo and his funny voice, and find a similar passion for playing cars with Dexter.

And I want to take it a step further, not only do I want your kids to find the great things about each person, but to express that appreciation as well.  This is what gives parents tingles down their spines, when children are stating their appreciation both verbally and physically.  It will bring tears to your eyes to see your kid complimenting other human beings, peers and adults alike.  This is the true representation of confidence, an outward showing of love and care for others.  The way to do it can be simple, and it usually starts with two powerful words: “I like…”

Speaking from the emotional “I” perspective rather than from a factual robot perspective has a colossal difference; by putting your opinions on the line through expressing your unique perspective on something, you communicate your personal appreciation for one’s qualities rather than stating dull generalities.

ex. “That is good.” as opposed to, “I like that about you.”

I find that beginning a compliment with, “I like,” is the easiest and most effective way to make someone feel great about himself, while making your kid look genuine, authentic, and confident.  There’s no need to get complicated about it either, here’s a few simple examples:

“I like your smile, Mary.”
“I like the way you draw, Jack.”
“I like you.”

Being Honest in Your Compliments
People just want to be cared about.  A charismatic person knows this, and it is the main reason so many people like him.  But the interest must be genuine; even Robert De Niro can’t fake ingenuity, he knows that sooner or later the truth will seep through somehow.  A charismatic person does not use compliments as a tool to make people like him, that would defeat the true purpose of giving a compliment.  A compliment, or a statement of appreciation, is used to deepen the connection between both you and the other person, and as a result that person will inevitably like you, as long as it is truly coming from a place of selflessness and love.  We should never intend for others to like us, rather is should only be the byproduct of giving our love to the world.

Another benefit of caring for others
When teaching your child to state his appreciation for other people, it is natural that others will look to him as a leader and a high value individual, because showing appreciation is also a way of giving out approval, and people that give out their approval to others show that they have a strong inner sense of beliefs and morals, and a solid and compelling worldview.  It is in our natural animal instinct to follow those with a strong sense of reality and who state their intentions unabashedly.  When your child tells a new friend, “I like you,” he is setting his status within the group, letting him know he is a person with authority, all while doing so in a friendly and appreciative way.

Introduce your children to the magic of showing appreciation for others, it brings out the best in every person that it touches, and will without a doubt make your child happier, more grateful towards others, and send tingles down every parent’s spine.

I know you have a few tricks up your sleeve.

What are some ways that you teach your child to appreciate and lead others?
Do you have any tips?
Do you think it’s difficult to be a leader?
Have you never been a leader before?
Do you relate being a leader to bullying?
Is it hard to teach your child to be loving towards others?

Teaching Your Kid How to Make New Friends

29
Jan
posted by Anthony               filed under Conversation



Bringing your child to a social function such as a birthday party or county fair provides an opportunity for him to make new friends.

Approaching a child will be different than approaching adults, as children have less of an attention span. So the way to meet new kids is easy, but the steps are important.

Start off with your child introducing himself. In fact, have him practice this several times a week as he will be doing it almost every day in his adult life. It goes like this:

“Hi, I’m Johnny.”

It’s that simple! Immediately after the introduction is the opening physical gesture. It will be different depending on the person.

  • For children, have your child give a high-five right after he introduces himself.
  • For an adult, teach them to either handshake, “pound the rock”, or high-five.

Always make sure he is practicing:

  • direct, non-fleeting eye contact
  • squared off body language with hands at his sides
  • a BIG smile

(Especially the first ten seconds in meeting someone these things are crucial.)

Another thing to keep in mind is to make sure that this isn’t rushed. In fact, there should be a slight pause between “Hi,” and, “I’m Johnny.”

Each word that your child says is prompting the other person for a commitment.

  1. Conversationally, it is better to ask for a bunch of small “commitments” rather than one, long, drawn out commitment.
  2. “Hi,” or, “Hello,” is the first commitment asked of the other person, as it takes the other person away from their current state and to refocus their attention on something new.
  3. The next part is telling the person his name, which is less asking commitment and more giving value.
  4. As soon as he says his name, have him put up his hand for a high-five towards the other child.  This is the next commitment asked of the other person, and it also sets the leading frame for your child.

Notice how your child is the one receiving high fives, not just giving them to adults.

Now that your child has properly introduced himself, it is necessary to make an escalation in the relationship between him and his new friend. An escalation has anything to do with strengthening the connection with your kid and the other person. For this example, you’re at an indoor birthday party, so it is safe to have him go somewhere with his new friend. A great way to escalate is to invite the other person along with you somewhere.

“Would you like to come play cars with me?”

This is also the next commitment asked of the other person, as well as the leading frame continuing for your child. Your child is learning how to lead an interaction where he wants it to go. This is a trait held by confident people, and when taught at a young age, can be powerful. Make sure to watch how much your child is leading though, as it can turn into being overbearing, bullying, and bossy. This is not the goal, and people can easily mistake an insecure bully for being confident, as the two personality types have similar qualities from a distance, but up close it is obvious they are black and white.

The reason to encourage your child to lead interactions is because most people have no idea what they want, or they are simply scared of stepping on another person’s toes. This is a waste of time and will deter from the enjoyment of an interaction. Nobody wants an indecisive person, they want someone who will lead, but who is still democratic. Think president, not dictator.

Robert De Niro Gives An Acting Lesson

18
Jan
posted by Anthony               filed under Conversation



So, I’m sitting in the back of a taxi and I got a driver by the name of Travis Bickle.

I tell him, “Pull over and put the flag down.  Pull over.”  Then I say, “Cut,” because I’m making a movie, and Bob is doing Travis and I’m doing a cameo playing the jealous passenger in the backseat.  Now, I had all the lines, all Bob had to do was sit there and not say anything and just stare at me with the back of his head, never turn.  But before the next take, Bob took me over and he said,

“Listen Marty, when you tell me to put that flag down,”

I said, “Yeah,”

“Make me put it down.  Because I’m not going to do it unless you make me put it down.”

And that was the most important lesson in screen acting that I would ever experience, because there’s no line between reality and pretend; there’s only truth, and no one finds that truth better than Robert De Niro.

- Martin Scorsese

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