Hey all you lovely parents! I’ve been checking out the message boards, and noticing a trend in parenting posts. Most questions on parenting have to do with kids acting up and parents at their wits end with what to do and how to deal with it. When your kids are super duper upset, and yelling at you the unspeakables (“I hate you,” “You’re mean!”), our first reaction is to get upset with them and yell back. But when your child sees that their reality is stronger than yours, when they can make YOU react emotionally to things that they do, they know they have power over you.
As Eckhart Tolle says, in my faint translation, “Negativity can not arise when one of the two in a relationship is not feeling negative emotions; for the person that is totally conscious and without ego will bring the person that is feeling pain into a calm and conscious state.”
Think about that quote as your child is working on getting over his “terrible two’s.” As you get angry, you are only feeding his anger with yours. Or as I like to say, “Put shit in, get shit out.” And this rule is valid not just when interacting with your children, but when interacting with ANYONE. Why? Because the negative energy that you use throughout the day stays inside of you, so when your children see you acting upset around other friends and family members, they see it as a normal behavior; something that is acceptable when interacting with others. That transcends into their brains and they will use it on you and others.
Remember, children don’t have any basis for what is socially acceptable. So when they see negativity, they will deem it as a platform for socially acceptable behavior.
Let me address one more thing. Anger is something that stays inside people; that is why some parents will remain “disappointed” and “upset” even after their kids’ time-out has ended. This is the wrong thing to do. You are essentially holding a grudge against your child. Dumb, ain’t it?
Instead, after you have laid down the law, go back to being the loving, happy, silly parent you always are with your kid. Act as if their naughtiness had never happened. The only time you gotta be “Superwoman” is when they act up. Never hold a grudge. Superman wouldn’t.
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…bringing them out into social settings and getting them to meet and connect with new people. The common issue I dealt with most was helping them find things to say to the people they’d approach.
They didn’t understand that it had less to do with what to say, and more to do with just being confident enough to say anything.
I realized that most of my students were expecting the other person to provide the value during the conversation, which is what people tend to do when nervous or shy. In order for them to lose the little monster in their heads that filtered every word that came out of their mouths, I needed to get them to mentally change gears into a verbal stream of consciousness.
I found the best way to do this was to get them to freestyle rap with me before going out. As silly as this sounds, it worked. It’s also a great exercise to do with your children! It forces them to constantly be spitting out words and rhyming them on the spot while attempting to have it all make sense.
Plus, you get to show off your family’s totally mad chill freestyle skills in your swagger wagon. Can you be any more awesome than to teach your kids how to rap on beats?
It’s not hard to find beats to rap to, just open up iTunes Music Store and type in “rap beats.” There are a lot of crappy beats out there, but there are also some good ones. Download the good ones, and then make a “Freestyle” playlist in iTunes so you can easily locate them.
Start a cypher during car rides by popping in the beat CD into your car stereo and rapping with your kids on the way to Shoprite. A great game to play while freestyling is called “The Word Game.” Each rapper gets a turn at rhyming a set of words for twenty to thirty seconds each. After he starts getting tired, move on to the next kid, and so on.
Mommy: “Car.”
Aaron: “Well I’m ridin’ in the car, and I go real far. I shine really bright, I’m a superstar! I am a good boy, and I love my mom. I hear the baby crying on the intercom!”
Daddy: “Running.”
Charlie: “I love jumping and running, and I think it’s really funny. I hop around a lot just like a little bunny!”
When just starting out, make sure the “cypher” begins with you so your children can get an idea of what it’s all about. As time goes on, forget the rules and just start freestyling with each other. You’d be surprised at how talented kids can get at this game, all they need is practice and after a few weeks they’ll be spittin’ rhymes like pros.
Remember, the goal is not to sound like Jay-Z while practicing. I expect you to rap crappy at first! But the whole point is to harness you and your kids creativity in a fun way. Your rhymes can be silly, and start off super simple, just make sure you are having fun.
Plus, you can sleep well knowing that you are the coolest parents in the universe. Anytime parents do something creative with their children, coolness happens. Rock on.
Want to download the freestyle rap playlist so you can bump beats in your swagger wagon with your kids? Click here!
Let me lay this down on the table real nice for you:
Communicating to your child that he must always be right is the quickest way to raise a narcissist.
We hear people talk about it all the time: “That guy is a narcissist! Get him outta here!” But what the heck does it mean to be a narcissist? What is narcissism? Well, gee golly goo, let me tell you!
A narcissist is a person that always needs to be right. Being wrong is punishable by death in a narcissists mind. They can never be wrong, it is impossible. If someone proves him wrong, the world would implode and dogs would talk and pigs would fly! The sky would come falling down and hell would freeze over. When I’m talking with a narcissist, I feel like I’m walking on egg shells, like I have to watch what I say less I offend him. A narcissist will never show his weaknesses, for showing weakness is weak. He can never look at the other side of things, for he has one stance on a topic and all else not seeing it his way is wrong.
But be advised, there is a fine line between noticing what is a narcissist and confident person, because the characteristics are similar, only the motive is what differs.
Let me explain. A narcissist will do something solely for the benefit of looking better in front of others, and feeling higher value to themselves. A confident person does things for the benefit of himself as well as others, looking to make other feel good about themselves.
Narcissists make everything work in their favor because they hate the feeling of being wrong, they hate the feeling of failing, so they convince themselves that they are always right in some way. This is different from a confident individual, who merely sees the positive side to everything, and isn’t affected negatively, while still having the ability to recognize the reality of a situation. A narcissist also loves external excuses that are out of his control. They tend to lash out at individuals that disagree with their opinion, or have a different view. They’ll challenge that person until they see it his way. This is a big thing to learn about because you can notice when you or your child is slipping into a narcissistic mindset and be more able to get out of it.
When you reprimand a child for being wrong, it makes them uncomfortable with making mistakes, or ever admitting they have made a mistake or failed.
It makes them uncomfortable with admitting that they are wrong. This creates quiet kids, which turns into quiet adults. Boring personalities will spawn from people afraid of looking wrong in front of others. Theyll have no character, no pizzazz, only comfortable with conforming to what the social consensus deems as acceptable.
The beginning of class is my first opportunity to get kids talking about themselves. I’ll usually make an open-ended question that gives room for a unique response: What is a scary dream youve had? Some kids will jump to answer my questions, as they love the limelight. The majority, though, will stare back at me with body language signaling their discomfort, squirming around in their seat, hoping that I will be nice and move on to the next child. It’s not that they have never had a scary dream before, or that they dont know what I’m talking about. When this happens, children feel they are being put on the spot, tested. They are scared of saying something that doesn’t fit what I may deem as acceptable, so they say nothing. Either that, or they just repeat what the child before them had said. They think that I am looking for a certain answer, they dont realize that there is no wrong answer.
Any answer a child will give to me is right. I will respond to hesitant childrens answers with big eyes and a smile, I want them to know that anything they say, as long as it is genuine, is cherished.
Social skills and confidence are very much NOT like math, where we are always trying to find a solution to a problem. Conversation is a way to get a feel for the personality of the persons you are speaking to. This translates into adulthood where chit-chat and small talk means fake conversation, people dont mean what they are saying, they are saying it because it is socially acceptable to say. As an adult, you cant simply squirm around and say nothing like a four year old is allowed to do. You have to give some kind of answer to questions asked, so instead of not saying anything, most people give run-of-the-mill, uninteresting, dull, conventional answers for fear of saying something wrong. Instead of encouraging your children to be the politically correct person, encourage creativity; be okay with what they say. People have been going about it backwards. Instead of teaching children to first learn political correctiveness as the basis for social skills, instead teach them to speak their mind. Later, after they are pros at being themselves, then you can start implementing what society deems as acceptable.
Part of confidence comes from being comfortable with your vulnerabilities. This means being unafraid of being judged by others, which will prevent children from becoming insecure with themselves. Also, if they are affected by others opinions, it will influence them to judge other people in the same negative way. Thats what a bully is, a narcissist. Have you noticed that parents of bullies are never searching for help on parenting? Its because usually the parents have narcissistic tendencies themselves, and are afraid to say that they have done something wrong. We want our children comfortable with being wrong, it creates a certain charm in a person, a likeableness that others can relate to.
When you teach your children to be scared of making mistakes, an interesting thing happens. Your children will feel as though they are not a valuable person if they make a mistake. When you expect only the best from your child, they will feel like they are only good when they are being successful. This value bar creates either a fear to succeed or a fear of failure in your child. Some children will become so afraid to fail that they will always be working to do well. This seems like a good way to teach your children, scare them into becoming successful. And they may very well turn out as such, but youve instilled a fear upon them that will make them feel unworthy as a person when they make a mistake or fail. On the other hand, this value bar can also make your children so scared of failure that they will never attempt to achieve anything. They would rather stay mediocre and with nothing rather than risk failure. When you set up the dynamic that failing is the worst possible scenario, youve brainwashed your child into a mental straitjacket, feeling that neither success or failure can bring happiness. Instead, teach your children that failure is a good thing; without failure, you will never learn from your mistakes. Making mistakes is necessary to independently achieving your goals. How can you know how to properly navigate the road to success if you havent fully experienced every pothole and bed of black ice that is to come? This transcends into business and relationships, to any passion that someone might have. This of course does not mean you should just let your child wallow in failure as if it is a way to live. Encourage them towards success, all while teaching them the value of failure. An easy way to say it is, Now you know what NOT to do anymore! Keep an out for that in the future.
What can spawn from this teaching your kids that failure is bad is the popular line, I cant do that! What does that mean? The child is saying that he is afraid of failure, because he has never succeeded in this task before. So instead of attempting this task, he would rather not even do it in the first place. Kids are even scared of PRACTICING a skill because that is an indication that they are not already masters of it already. I tell them, If you already knew how to do it, you wouldnt be here. The reason you are here is to LEARN how to do this, not to show that you can do it already. In fact, outlaw the word cant from your childs vocabulary, they dont need it. If they say that word, remind them that theyre not allowed to say that and must replace it with, I will try my best at doing this, or, I CAN do this, when someone talks and acts like a confident person, it encourages them to keep on a positive and confident mindset. Talking with negative vocab will only deter them from success.
In order for your children to make mistakes, they must first take risks. And in order for your children to take risks, you must allow them to do so. There is a fine line between the overly protective and paranoid parent, and the parent who wants to keep their child safe. Do not fall into the former category. There is a difference between your child being in real danger and getting a few cuts and scrapes here and there. They will be okay! Have trust in your children and they will have trust in themselves. Allow them to make mistakes and to learn from them on their own, there is a difference between being a mentor and giving too much preventative advice. When you allow your child to take a risk, it will transcend into other parts of life. For instance, letting your child take the chance of going down a playground slide face first can be a scary thought, what if he ends up eating a handful of woodchips for dinner? But that same risk can translate into taking the risk of meeting someone new at a birthday party, or shoot to twenty years later and it can prevent him from taking the risk of striking conversation with that pretty girl he sees at his friends wedding. Confidence in taking risks is important, and you need to allow your kids to make their own choices, even if it means swallowing a worm or two.
As you can see, teaching inner confidence to your children is less what you do and more of what you dont do. You have to tell yourself, I will not step in the way of my childs choices to be who they are. Most of the insecurities stem from external sources, never from within. As stated earlier, children are naturally happy and confident people, it is when they are put in the setting with adults is when they start to form the ego. Your job is to keep them the pure and beautiful people that they are all while teaching them to live and survive within modern society. When talking about teaching confidence, less is more. Let them teach you something about confidence.
In the last post, John showed us how his confident body language and loud and resonant vocal tone was what put him in a good position to turn a potentially ugly situation into something friendly. Instead of “sticking up for himself” which is something weak people do, he was approaching the situation from a totally different reality. He looked at Harvey as an equal, rather than someone who should be getting picked on.
“Frank the Tank”
Sometimes, though, it’s not as simple as the bus situation. Two years pass and John is now eight. He was playing outside during recess, and a new bully, Frank, began to get jealous about who John was playing with.
Frank: You can’t play with Maria. She’s my friend. Get out of here!
Though going to a teacher is a way to fix the problem, it’s only a temporary solution to a bigger problem. John needs to deal with this part on his own, or he’ll never be able to do it when he gets older.
Trying to argue with someone that enjoys making problems is a waste of time. John would just get sucked into a bad situation and before you know it, he’d be in detention. Instead, John was taught to ignore negative comments or make them positive. Bullies are always looking to get a negative reaction from someone. But when they find that you are impenetrable to negativity, they go try bothering someone else.
John: Hey!
John knows that a loud dominant voice, good eye contact, and a smile set him up as the leader. This shakes Frank out of his negative trance for a second and takes him off guard.
John: Come play with us! We’re playing basketball and need a referee.
Done with confident and positive body language, Frank will either accept the invitation or go find someone else to pick on. If, however, he doesn’t, John can choose to walk away with Maria and play on something else. It’s not a big deal. The main thing is to not get upset. Bullies like to get negative reactions out of people. But if John doesn’t give him a negative reaction, Frank won’t bother him anymore.
What’s your bully story? What happened when you were bullied as a kid? What happened when your own kid got bullied? What have you learned? How has it become different? Shoot me an e-mail and let me know. I’ll get back to you tomorrow… promise.
Love,
Tony (Anthony’s ‘cool’ alter-ego)
P.S. – If you are a CharismaticClub member, expect to be getting some videos sent to you in the next week.
“The New Parent” is a series where I interview parents that embody the idea of what I call “The New Parent.” These parents challenge the status quo and raise confident, superhero-like, charismatic kids by exposing them to their parents’ passions. You can notice these families from a mile away; they are unique and passionate about life. They teach their kids to dive head first into what life has to offer, and are raising the entrepreneurs, the artists, the musicians, the actors, the politicians, the athletes, the travelers, any job that takes charisma, creativity, confidence, and passion.
Last month, my mom kept telling me to check out this new show on Bravo called 9 by Design. I’ve committed my TV life to Dexter, Bourdain, and House Hunters International; I didn’t have time to jump into another show. But she persisted until I gave in. After ten minutes of watching, I knew I had to interview them for my first “new parent” series. Rob and Cortney Novogratz embodied everything I teach on this website. Me and Rob had a chat on the first nice lovely day on the East coast. He’s in NY, I’m in NJ. We live 30 mins from each other, but our phone call seemed as if I was sitting on the porch with him outside his beautiful five story house in lower Manhattan. I feel like we both think on the same wavelength, our views seem to be parallel to each other. Read the interview below, or click play to listen to the audio.
The goal is to help you understand and become your own version of what it means to be a “new parent.” Who knows, maybe one day I’ll interview you.
Anthony: What are ways that you use your lifestyle to inspire your children to grow into passionate, charismatic adults?
Bob: It’s all about exposure. We takes the kids to flea markets and art galleries all the time. We do a lot of creative things, and they’re always with us. Some kids get it, some kids don’t. But as a parent, you expose your kid to everything and then they gotta figure it out, for them, what they want for themselves.
Living in NYC is such a creative place, but if you didn’t live in New York, everyone has museums, everyone has Flea Markets, everyone has tons of things that they can take their kids to that they enjoy.
Anthony: Good. Another thing that I notice that you and Cortney do that I teach, I teach parents to treat their children less like babies and more like human beings, or even to say adults. What are some ways that you demonstrate this towards your own children?
Bob: You have to treat them with respect, you have to give them responsibility, and you have to let them fail. I’m a middle class kid. Most successful Manhattanites that I’ve met in private schools, all of them were middle class kids. Very few people were born upper class. They were scrappy, their drive was through education and hard work. So what I see is, when they have all this success, they take that away from the kid, and they forgot that’s how they got there.
We have a saying, “Keep them humble, and keep them hungry.” And we don’t spoil the kids, and we also want them to have desire. And that’s a real key, because you got to have a want in the world to get a result.
Anthony: And that brings me to another question. In the house on the show, I don’t see many normal toys in the house. I’m wondering, what’s your stance on that?
Bob: We’re about books and sports. And certainly they have one or two toys, but it’s kind of like the Channukah or Christmas celebration, a kid gets 500 presents and he plays with one right? So get the cool quality building kind of games or legos, or something where they’re creatively using their mind. One reason is the design standpoint, we hate clutter; but the second point is they don’t need all that stuff. And they appreciate it that much more what they do have.
Anthony: How have you done it differently with your kids compared to what you see everyone else doing?
Bob: To give you an example, Wolfie, he’s 12 was ranked one of the top ten basketball players in the country for his age group. And since he was six, I had him playing in Harlem in the Bronx. And he plays with tough inner city kids, I took him away from the white rich kids in downtown Manhattan. For a basketball reason I knew if he had a big future, he had to go where the talent was. But it’s also the mental toughness of it. Interesting article by Pete Carril, who’s the coach at Princeton, and he said, “It’s not a black/white thing, it’s the way you raise a kid.” And he says, “You look at a rich black kid that grows up in the suburbs, he doesn’t play like they play in Camden or the Bronx,” it’s just that simple.
You have to give that kid the toughness, let them fail. I think as adults, we’re scared to fail. On the creative side, a guy works on a screen play for ten years, and he never puts it out. Just do it! With the houses, we’ve done thirteen houses. Some are better than others. Finish it, some people are gonna hate them, some people are gonna love them. Go to the next one.
So I think parents are so scared of their kids failing. And they try to micromanage everything: where they go to kindergarten, where they do this, where are they gonna go here. Because they’re scared, but have the confidence that the kid’s bright and that they’re going to work hard. Because the hard work and the desire is going to take you further than the Harvard degree.
Anthony: I like how you mention, “Allow your kids to fail,” because that’s a good point. I notice a lot of parents that are scared of letting their kids fail. They’re scared of letting them lose once in a while. And I feel it’s an important thing to do. It makes them more real, it makes them want to work harder, and it makes them realize that when they get older, they are inevitably going to fail at things.
Bob: That’s what life’s all about. Exactly, and mommy and daddy aren’t gonna be there. And the private school’s aren’t gonna be there. And it really depends on how tough you are, and how much you want something.
But it’s interesting, even with the inner city kids, they all have handheld devices and $500 phones. Wolfie doesn’t have a phone or a handheld device. They’re more spoiled than he is haha. So you don’t need all the hardware.
And each kid’s different, Wolfie’s a phenomenal athlete, some of the other kids don’t even like sports. So we don’t push sports on them, but you have to be physically fit. Kids in Manhattan, or in big cities, to parents, education is so important. And they say, “We don’t care about sports,” maybe because your kid’s not so good. But kids should be physically fit. You look at obesity in children in America, it’s an unbelievable disease. And a lot has to do with the diet, the starches, and the McDonald’s; but it’s also about lack of exercise, kids are averaging six or seven hours of video games, they’re not getting outside. We were kids, remember we had that Presidential physical fitness. Listen, not everyone has to be an athlete, but at ten or eleven, you should be in relatively decent shape. Be able to walk a mile, or do twenty sit-ups, or whatever the minimal standard is. And there’s sports other than basketball and football. There’s cross country, fencing, squash, swimming. And all these Gen-X sports are amazing, because they take the competitive edge away, so kids can enjoy it more. But you got to have the kid physically fit.
Anthony: Yeah, I definitely agree. That’s a big thing. I notice more of that in suburbs, because kids are being driven around all day. Whereas in the city like New York, they’re walking a lot more, they’re taking subways, they’re moving around a lot.
Bob: It’s totally different, you leave Manhattan and it’s crazy. We were somewhere recently and I was shocked by the obesity and the diet of the kids.
Anthony: We talked about Wolfgang. Now, I also noticed Breaker. He’s in another realm. I notice he has the creative side. How did you bring that about in him?
Bob: He’s always been the one kid that loves hanging out with me when I design stuff, and he’s also a great athlete, but he’s not a competitive kid. He’s a sweet kid, and doesn’t like the competitive spirit. For instance, he’s taking break dancing now, and drums, and he loves that kind of stuff. And he’s just had rhythm as a young kid, so you know you could see a kid move, rave to a beat when a song came on. And he loves to dance, and that was more his thing. I can’t take credit for it, Cortney’s the dancer, I’m a tall skinny guy that doesn’t move so good. So he just seems to like it and we do a lot of art with the kids, but I think with Breaker, he just likes hanging out with us. I’ll say, “Hey, who wants to go to the Flea Market,” and he’ll say, “I wanna go!” So it was always that kind of thing. You can’t make him do it, but I think with him he just got it. He sees things, even from having exposure on the show. Seeing how a TV show was made, he loved it. He’s funny too, because we shot a commercial for Shrek yesterday. When he’s not on camera, he’s funny and cool, but more a little shy, but when the lights hit, he just lights up. You don’t have to prod him or coach him. He’s just into it.
Anthony: I think I noticed that in the last episode, during the Baptism, which was an amazing episode by the way. And I want to congratulate you on your seventh baby.
Bob: Thank you so much. That was probably one of our favorite scenes of the whole year. We’ve gotten very lucky with the production, being able to do the black and white, the 16mm stuff; you’re not going to see that on Bravo too much. It’s pretty cool.
Anyway, so the whole world’s changed. We’re still rewarding kids for Algebra and Calculus, and not rewarding kids for technology, art, and design. But those are the real fields that are important now, but the education system hasn’t changed. We’re sending our kids to private school in downtown. The kids are taking the recorder, I did the recorder when I was in public school thirty years ago. I mean c’mon, you need something cooler than the recorder. But it’s like the education system really hasn’t changed. Most people really don’t need algebra, but they’re teaching all the wrong curriculums, I think. And each kid’s different, thank goodness we have doctors and biologists and biotechnicians, but certain kids that aren’t into that should be rewarded for what they’re good at. And that’s what we try to do with our kids, we try to help them figure it out. We help them get there, and then nudge them where they need to be nudged.
Anthony: That’s a great point. I have ADHD, I have it pretty bad. And it was hard in school, because a lot of the things I was good at were not in my public school.
Bob: I was similar, I think I might add. I was similar to you.
(laughing)
Anthony: I see you have one of those good cameras, you look like a good photographer, you have the art side, I have a very big music side. I’m obsessed with music, I love writing music. Creating things. Where’s the classes on harnessing children’s creativity in schools? I don’t see that.
Bob: No. And I was a great salesman. How many people do you know are salesman, why aren’t there sales classes? There are history classes, but what the hell are you going to do with history?
(laughing)
Here’s another tip I do. We try to take our kids and put them in uncomfortable situations. Wolfie’s team’s all inner city kids, there’s this basketball benefit which you’ll see [on an upcoming episode] it’s an unbelievable scene. And I made them all wear coat and tie, and get up and speak in front of two hundred people. And they did it, parents cried, they were so proud. And it was a huge deal to them. Take them out of their comfort zone. No kid unless you’re a breaker wants to get in front of two hundred people and do a speech. They’re nervous, everyone’s nervous, adults get nervous. But it’s like anything, you do it once or twice, and the fear goes away.
Check Bob and the rest of his family out (9 by Design) on Bravo every Tuesday night at 10/9c.
I think this is the next hit show. Click on the envelope above to send me a message and let me know who you’d like to see interviewed for next month’s The New Parent.
This is bullshit. No kid should be treated like this. Below is a bully situation and how you can teach your kid to SMARTLY, and CONFIDENTLY deal with it. (Is smartly a word?) No more of this sissy crap that Good Morning America and parent websites teach you to do. You want a confident, charismatic kid? Here’s the smart, confident way to teach your child to approach the asshole that’s bothering him.
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
———————————–
John is six, and the shortest kid in his class. It’s the first day of school and while riding on the school bus, he’s just met the meanest kid of first grade.
Harvey: Hey you! What are you doing? That’s my seat. Get out of it now!
John is smart. He knows not to fall into Harvey’s dominating frame that he’s set up. Instead, he uses his calm confidence to take a moment and evaluate Harvey’s body language. His parents have taught him that bullies aren’t really mean; they are just finding a way to compensate for their insecurities. In other words, this is Harvey’s twisted way of making a friend. Regardless, John was taught to either ignore negativity or make it positive.
John: Hey! What’s your name?
If John’s parents didn’t role play a bully situation with him beforehand, he wouldn’t have been ready to calmly approach the situation, but instead react with fear. John now knows to speak loudly and with strong eye contact when talking to someone like this. Not in a confrontational way, but in a way that shows he is not a pushover. Insecure bullies tend to gravitate towards insecure wallflowers. It’s like a ying and yang thing.
Harvey: Um.. Harvey.
John: Hey, Harvey. Come here and sit with me. I have something to tell you.
Harvey: Why?
John: Just come here.
John has no idea what he’s going to say to Harvey, but he’ll find out when he sits down. This is where those creativity exercises pay off. (Coming soon.)
John: Have you ever played thumb wars?
Harvey: Yeah, duh!
John: Sure, but you’ve never played DOUBLE thumb wars! Here, I’ll show you what to do. First we make one thumb war with these hands. Then, we cross hands and make the second thumb war. Now, are you ready? Let’s go.
Together: One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war!
John saw a negative situation arising and he rerouted it before it got out of hand. He wouldn’t have been able to do this without doing a bully role play beforehand with his parents. Remind him to keep his cool and not to become negative, as that can lead into something worse.
OKAY.
This is an excerpt from the book. Your kid having bully problems? What better way to deal with it than to role play the situation with him beforehand. Super big tip I hid in there: calmness. Making your soul calm before doing anything at all is the key to doing it confidently. Things done with haste will always get messy. Before playing in the park, have your kid sit for one minute calmly. Watch their demeanor as they play afterwards. Do this with everything, and he will learn to do it on his own. Easy stuff that makes a big impact.
Oh? This wasn’t enough bully lessons? Big Bad Bully part 2 coming out this week. Keep your eyes on the look out. You are the best parents in the world because you want to do everything possible to help your children grow. Even if your child is not having any issues, reading and learning and listening and observing are the best tools. Always strive to help make your children grow.
If you want to make sure this doesn’t happen to other kids in your neighborhood, or even around the world, the least you can do is pass this message on. Click recommend, now. The blog post will land on your Facebook feed, and you will have possibly saved a child’s life.
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