If I get a pitbull, aside from being beautiful, they are strong powerful dogs that are notoriously more aggressive than my original favorite golden retrievers. They need an emotionally strong and powerful person to deal with them. If you are emotionally weak, they will step all over you.
Same goes for the kid you have. If you are emotionally weak, your kid can step all over you. There is something to be said to nature deciding the general character of a person, but for the most part it is nurture. Some kids are naturally wild (like I was) and some are calm. How you decide to deal with their natural character is what is important.
If your kid is wild, and you are by nature calm and hippie-like, you will have to learn how to work with your child’s personality type. The same goes for an opposite situation. An energetic, animated, outgoing parent can end up overpowering their naturally calm child.
Just don’t mistake a child’s personality type for how you are treating him. Spoiled kids are prone to yell, fight, talk back, and rebel. Kids living with too many rules are prone to do the same, or just lay down and surrender.
She is given countless hours of TV time, a Wii, a toy robot that talks to her, and light up shoes; and life is fine. The addiction doesn’t come until those things are taken away from her, they go out of style, or are no longer fun to play with.
Once this happens, a void is created in her soul. She was tricked into believing that those things were her source of happiness, and now she needs them back again in order to feel better.
She sees a commercial for a new toy on TV and thinks that it will fill the void in her chest. Once she gets that toy, she is once again at equilibrium. A few weeks later the toy gets old, and she is back to the incomplete feeling she felt before. It’s an empty feeling of worthlessness—the same way a smoker would feel without his cigarette.
They do their same thing every day, every week, and every year. They name their kids the same names everyone else names their kids. They enroll their kids in the activities every other kid is enrolled in, their family outings consist of the same top three places for families to go: Six flags, Disney, and Mt. Rushmore.
They:
This is not to say that this is bad. Most families are perfectly happy living this way, and that’s fine. That’s also not to say that if you are reading this and are realizing how boring your family life is, that you are a bad boring person.
It’s just that this is how everyone has been taught to think that families should be like. We just think, “This is the way it’s been for the past billion years, this is the way it must be.” So we never took a second thought at how we could mold our family to the way WE see fit.
What I am simply trying to do is open your eyes to this. You have your own say at how to run the family, how to raise your kids, how you should live, how to spend your time. Instead of spending tons on Disney World, let them engage in different cultures. Instead of visiting the biggest tourist places when traveling, visit the small local towns where hardly anyone speaks English. Engulf yourself and your family in a different culture.
Not every family will care to do it any differently, most families are perfectly happy doing it “normal.” But to the family that is different, the family that goes off the tracks of the what always has been, theres a fire in your belly that needs to be fulfilled, to transcend the norm. You are “The New Parent,” the new family; because you are pioneering a new order, a new approach to how a family should be.
These families seek out each other; to have their kids mingle with each other, and the parents mingle with other “New Parents,” which makes your reality and worldview stronger. You may have different approaches to how to have a family, but that is the point. We are not trying to make a new “way to fam,” we are trying to tell you that you don’t necessarily have to do it the way everyone else is and how it’s been for years; you can ‘fam’ in any way that you’d like. Every “New Family” has their own way of living, and that is what is similar about them all, that they are all unique in what they do.
But there are distinctive similarities and trends with each “New Family.” They are innovators, they are creative, they are risk takers, and they are appreciative. They are passionate about something, they move towards their passions, they expose themselves to new things, they love people, and they don’t judge other families on how they fam or what they do. They love life and want to experience what it has to offer.
These are the new families, they are sprouting up everywhere. I’m searching for them, and I’m going to showcase them on CharismaticKid. I will get to know everything about how they do it, so you can get an idea of how a “New Family” goes about doing things, and you can learn from their approach, tweak it a little bit, and make your own way of doing it.
Do you think you are this type of parent, and want to meet other families like your own? Come visit us for FREE in New York City on September 19th, meet the other parents, get the free 220-page book, and learn a ton about how to transform your family from “eh,” to “AH!.” Become “The New Family.”
Attend the free 2-hour Superhero Seminar on September, 19th. Change your family’s life.
You can wear shorts and a t-shirt and run around in the park, go hiking on the trails, throw frisbees and build sandcastles on the beach. This is exactly the time where you and your kids should be getting social and making friends with other families. Not only for your kids’ benefit, but for yours as well.
Don’t you find it weird that while chilling out on the beach with hundreds of people around you, nobody has the confidence to say one word to each other except for the peeps in their group? To me, life is about making connections with other people; I would hate to be one of those monks hiding inside a cave all my life.
But we still manage to keep to ourselves in public most of the time. It’s only if we are forced into a social situation or stumble upon a good social opportunity do we actually make the effort to interact with someone else. I dream of a world where people are making friends with each other while grocery shopping and there is no fear of making that push to meet someone new in our daily lives.
The thing is, other people are not going to make that effort for you, you have to be the fiery thunderbird that rises above and takes the first step each day to “break the social ice” as I like to call it. That moment you feel hesitant to say something to the person next to you, that is the exact time you should open your mouth. Take the social initiative!
When you see that Mom grabbing the obscure “bread and butter” pickle jar at Shoprite, let her know you dig weird pickles too, and then branch into other favorite foods you like. If you see a family building a sandcastle next to you at the beach, instead of making your own, walk over with your kid and help them build it.
This isn’t a suggestion. I’m not asking you to do this — I’m TELLING YOU. Each day I want you to take a new initiative with your kid to meet new people and make connections. Show your kids how it’s done, and then encourage them to do the same thing. I like to call it, “throwing them into the lion’s den,” sometimes kids have to be thrown into new situations in order for them to experience and enjoy them. It’s like getting into a cold pool, you can’t stick your toes in there and gradually make your way into it, sometimes you just have to jump. That is the kick in the butt that your kids’ sometimes need.
Just like I said in the video, I want you to go onto the Faybo page, (CharismaticKid’s Facebook) and post a comment on the question asked, “How have you been a Superhero and taken the social initiative with your kids so far this Summer?” I’m looking forward to your answers, and I better see some great and unique ways to make friends.
CharismaticClub members, I’m especially looking at you! It’s your job to set an example; you are deemed superheroes by CharismaticKid, don’t you let me down!
Love,
Anthony
“The New Parent” is a series where I interview parents that embody the idea of what I call “The New Parent.” These parents challenge the status quo and raise confident, superhero-like, charismatic kids by exposing them to their parents’ passions. You can notice these families from a mile away; they are unique and passionate about life. They teach their kids to dive head first into what life has to offer, and are raising the entrepreneurs, the artists, the musicians, the actors, the politicians, the athletes, the travelers, any job that takes charisma, creativity, confidence, and passion.
Aside from making people laugh, Brian Huskey is very much not like the arrogant Dad that he portrays in those Swagger Wagon commercials. He’s a humble family man with a three-year-old daughter. He taught me so much about how to inspire a creative confidence into kids, and I think he’ll do the same for you.
Download the Brian Huskey (Toyota Sienna Dad) Interview (Right-click and “Save As..”)
Brian: She’s seen me perform, I did a kids’ show one time, and I was dressed like an elf, and just acted ridiculous, and she does understand now, when I say “Daddy has to go to work,” she’s like “Oh, daddy’s gonna go be silly” which I think is great.. That she can sort of equate that yes, you can be paid to go be silly. So sort of a long-winded answer, I think she’s by proxy maybe getting an idea of what I do, and what I’m really into, and she has a great sense of humor. But it’s not anything I’m dictating to her. I definitely don’t want to take her to commercial auditions, because that is a horrible road for a kid to go down.
Anthony: I agree. And I think a big thing is not necessarily pushing your child to do what you do, but more of encouraging your child to be passionate about life in any way, through the same way that you do it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be acting, or comedy, but just getting her to see how much you enjoy doing what you do, and then letting her realize that she can do something that she loves on her own.
Brian: Age three, she’s into just complete invention of worlds, and spontaneous games, and I always participate whole-heartedly because it is like improv, she has the understanding of improv, just like “We’re gonna do this,” “Yes, we’re gonna do this, and we’re gonna do it as much as we can.” So as much as I’m available to that, I’m always like, “Sure, we are both rabbits driving a bus, let’s do this.” Because I know a lot of parents probably are just like playtime, and there’s this time, and I just.. the rewards I get from being with her during during this time that you have this unfiltered creativity, you gotta go for it while it’s there. Because come age 13, she’s gonna resent us, and turn into a teenager.
Anthony: I definitely like that you’re kinda letting her use her spontaneous, creative self, and that’s something else that I really like to teach to parents. Do you have any types of specific games that you play with her, that you think help her bring out that creative side?
Brian: I let her be the leader, and I think that’s been a good thing because I think we’ve just been like, “What do you want to do?” And let her take the lead and she’s starting to do that with her friends more. She’s been like, “Let’s play this game.” She kind of opens the rules and learns about collaborating and sharing. And those are big things in improv, you should say, “Yes, and..” Whatever information or ideas someone offers up, you say, “Yes, and..” then you add something else to it. And I totally see that with her. Now talking, I guess I am sort of bringing some of my own passion because my passion for improv is ten years plus, and I’m still completely into it. And for her it’s naturally. it just gravitates towards her. It’s great. I hope that never gets squashed because I think self-conciousness or someone else saying, “No, you can’t do that,” that’s where.. someone issuing that authority of “No, we can’t do that.” If you don’t have creative confidence or excitement about it, you’re gonna be like “Oh, you’re right, we can’t.” So, hopefully she’ll have enough of that, like “No, this is a much clearer option. Let’s be two rabbits driving a bus.”
Anthony: I think you bring up a good point about.. I find a lot of times people feel obligated, it’s not really parents’ faults or anything, but it’s just kind of a social constraint of keeping with rules when we play games, just because that’s how it’s always been. For instance, if you’re telling a stotry to your kid at night, and they say “Why don’t I tell you the story?” That’s something cool that I think parents should do. It’s something that I teach. Have your child tell you a story before they go to bed.
Brian: Yeah, we totally do that. I’m quite often the baby that she tucks me in, and she’ll leave the room, and I’ll cry, and she’ll say “What’s wrong, baby?” And I’ll say, “Can you give me a kiss?” Or, “I want a story” and she’s really into.. the stories are like, “There was a bear, and he went into the house and ate a sandwich. The end.” To.. now they they really have a long arc to them. And then she’s also starting reading books to us. She’ll take her favorite book that we like to read to her and she’ll look at the pages, and tell us the story. And then, once she started doing that, she started adding stuff. She starts layering the ideas she has on top of what she already knows or what she’s imagining at that moment, which is really great. My wife was really smart that she’s like.. even though she’s learning colors and shapes and stuff.. when we’re playing, even if she says that blue is pink, blue is pink, just let it be, blue is pink. Or, for the games, we just started doing that, and then after a while she started to say, “Oh, you’re right,” And then she would correct like “No, that’s not pink, it’s blue.” And she’s been saying like she has the authority in the game, and she can say whether we’re gonna pretend like this is blue, or no, you misunderstand, this is actually blue. So that’s kind of cool.
Anthony: So who do you think is funnier, you or your daughter? Or your wife?
Brian: Oh God.. My daughter. For sure. I don’t know if she can remember lines, but if you just let her go, pretty great. She should be hocking cars instead of me, I should just sit back, relax. But then I’d turn into one of those “Stage Dads.” It’d be terrible.
Anthony: This doesn’t have to be as deep as it sounds, but already taking into account the unconditional love you and all parents have for their children, how do you think that you do differently with your daughter compared to what you see everyone else doing?
Brian: For us, it’s just very natural. It’s like, “You are so awesome, whatever you wanna do, just do it, and you’re going to.. we’re just gonna be there with that.” And for her, given what I said about her being shy and stuff, I think it’s kinda helped her to just be like, “Yeah, here I am.” Like, we started to notice that she’s sorta started posing out of nowhere, she’ll just walk into the room, and make a little pose, this triumphant thing, and then run out. And that’s pretty great that she has the impulse to come in like, “What’s up world? Here I am!” And then just be out. And I think that just comes from.. if she’s doing something, we’re always kinda blown away by it.. “That’s pretty great.” So if that’s a philosophy, it’s more just an impulsive organic reaction to how much we love her. Try to whittle that down to a sound bite!
Anthony: Well I think what you’re trying to say is, allow her to be who she wants to be.
Brian: Yeah, and I think the other thing is, maybe the other part of that is, allow yourself to be unfiltered with that. I think that’s a big part, I think a lot of parents are like, “Oh, that’s not appropriate right now in the setting to react to you.” But no, I want everybody else to see how much I love you.
Oh, and by the way: http://www.youtube.com/sienna
Love,
Anthony
anthony@charismatickid.com